By: Michael Berg
ONE TRUE FRIENDSHIP
How many true friends do you have?
The Rav, my father, would often say that if a person merits one true friend in his entire lifetime, he is greatly blessed.
True friendship is when we put our friend’s needs and desires ahead of our own, and they do the same for us. Many of us have people in our life we care about and help – when we can. But the question of true friendship is, is this person’s concerns more important to me than my own? When we both experience the same lack or want, do I seek to fulfill theirs before I fulfill my own?
When the answer is yes, we’ve got a true friendship.
This is certainly not an easy thing to do, the ego being as it is. This is why my father would say we are greatly blessed if we can merit even one such friend in our entire lifetime.
It is important to understand the spiritual power of true friendship. When a person has a relationship with another at this ultimate level, he can remove great judgment from, as well as draw great blessings into, both of their lives.
The explanation of this is as we act with others, so the Light of the Creator acts with us. When in our mind and heart, we are willing to let go of everything we are dealing with, and take care of our friend’s needs on a constant basis, so too the Creator leaves everything and takes care of our needs. As below, so above.
Taking this a step further, when a person finds himself in a difficult situation, one of the tools he can use to get out of it is to develop a true friendship with one other person.
One of my favorite stories to illustrate this point is one my father heard from his teacher, and which I will share with you now. I discover new Light within it every time I share it.
There was once a man who lived hundreds of years ago, who did something for which the king condemned him to death. After hearing the sentence, the man turned to the king and asked, “Could I please have a week to put my affairs in order?”
The king replied, “I would like to grant you this wish, but I am concerned that you will not return to face your sentence, that you will run away. If you can find somebody who will stay in your place while I set you free for a week to put your affairs in order, I will let you go. But bear in mind if you are not back in time to face your sentence; I will kill your friend instead—even if you are only a minute late. However, if you do come back before one week is up, the sentence will be carried out on you as was intended."
This man went to his closest friend, whom he had loved since childhood, and he asked him, “Can you please do me this favor? I need a week to put my affairs in order before the king sentences me to death. I need you to replace me in the jail for one week so that the king will allow me to go."
His friend replied, “Of course I will go to jail in your place, I would do anything for you."
The week goes by, and the man puts his affairs in order. But the man runs into delays on the road back and is a little late in returning to the jail. The king decides, “This man has not kept his promise, so I have no choice but to carry out his death sentence on his friend.” The guards escort his friend to the gallows to prepare for his hanging.
Just then the man who was originally sentenced to death starts running towards the gallows, yelling, “I’m here! I’m here! I was just a little late, but I’m here! I am the one who was sentenced to death so I am the one who must die. Set my friend free and put me in his place.”
Then the friend starts yelling back, “No, the seven days have passed! According to the terms of your agreement, my friend can no longer be put to death. Now I am the one who is supposed to be put to death!” And they both started pleading their cases before the king, each one of them begging that he should be the one put to death instead of his friend.
The king, after seeing the selfless love between these two friends, called for silence. “My decree called for the death of one person, but I see that the bond between you is so complete that if I carry out the sentence I will be killing two people. Thus I am forced to annul my original decree. You may both go free.”
When you look at your life, can you identify one such friendship? If not, then strive towards developing this level of care and selflessness within yourself. Know that when you develop such a heightened bond with another human being, you remove judgment and invite a tremendous flow of Light and blessings into your life.
May we all merit one true friend!
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