By: Michael Berg
Holy Audacity
For those of us on a spiritual path, despite the fact that we've been studying and making our connections, we believe there are just some things we cannot change. We all have a wall, a barrier we cannot push beyond. And yet the truth is, as Rav Ashlag often said, our spiritual work is not to push ourselves to the limit of our abilities. It is to push beyond our abilities.
Beyond our abilities. How do we achieve that? How do we do what we can’t do and draw what we don’t deserve? There is a way. It’s through what the Kabbalists call “holy audacity,” meaning when we have a desire to become stronger and a drive to create real change in our lives and in the world, we can awaken that strength even if we do not think it exists within us. When it’s for the sake of sharing with others, not only do we have to, but we must push against the barriers of our capabilities.
There's a beautiful story in the kabbalistic literature that speaks to this idea.
During the time the Holy Temple stood in Jerusalem, three times a year people would travel there from all over the world in order to make their spiritual connections. One such time there was a great water shortage, and the influx of visitors put a terrible strain on the water supply.
To avert a health crisis, a man by the name of Nakdimon responded by approaching one of the wealthiest landowners in the city and asked him to loan him water from 12 of his wells, with the promise of repayment at a later date in either the exact amount of water borrowed or 12 loaves of silver. The landowner agreed and the crisis was averted.
The months passed, and when the day for repayment arrived, Nakdimon could not give back the water because not a drop of rain had fallen in months. That morning, a messenger arrived at his door, demanding either the water or the silver. He responded, “I have all day to repay you. If it doesn’t rain by the end of the day, I will repay you in silver.”
In the afternoon a messenger arrived again at his door with the same message, and he sent back the same response. As the sun was about to set, the messenger returned yet again and was told the same thing, the day is not yet over.
Upon hearing this final response, the landowner laughed because he knew it was impossible for that much rain to fall in such a short period of time. He felt so elated that he went into the local bathhouse to freshen up before he met with Nakdimon to retrieve his money.
Meanwhile, Nakdimon was sad, and he went into the temple where he began to pray. His prayer was short. “I did not borrow water from those 12 wells for myself,” he told the Creator, “I did it only for the sake of sharing.” That’s was his entire prayer.
Immediately afterwards, the sky became full of clouds and rain came pouring down. It rained so hard in those few minutes that not only did the 12 wells become full of water, but there was an overflow of water. As he left the temple, he saw the landowner and said to him, “Now you owe me money! Because of the overflow of water, I've paid you back too much.”
The landowner responded, “I know the only reason it rained is because the Creator wanted to make this miracle for you. But in truth, if I wanted to argue with you, I could, because if you look up in the sky, it's dark. Maybe it's already nightfall, and this rain really came on the next day, after nightfall, and therefore it's not your water. It's my water.”
Upon hearing this, Nakdimon turned around and went back into the temple where he prayed another short prayer to the Creator: “Master of the World, let it be known that you have people in this world that are close to You.” That was his entire prayer.
Immediately the clouds dispersed, and the sun resumed shining.
What’s powerful about this story is that in both prayers Nakdimon didn’t beg or plead with the Creator. He simply asserted what needed to happen. He did not earn these miracles, nor was he a great scholar or a spiritual giant. And yet, because his singular purpose was for the sake of others, he went in with this audacity, and he requested in short terms what he wanted to happen. And it happened.
Of course, not everyone is at the level where they can ask for the skies to open. Yet, the purpose of this story is to teach us the importance of living this consciousness of assertiveness, provided that our singular aim is the welfare of others. We are each meant to aspire to reach this place where, because our lives are so dedicated to elevating others, we can utilize this tool of holy audacity.
This week, live with audacity! Remember that you can ask for more than you have earned or deserve. But it’s more than just asking – it’s living in this consciousness. If you are going to do something that involves assisting others, don’t hope for it to turn out well. Insist that it does. Push beyond your personal boundaries of what you think you can do and what you think you deserve. Because as long as you are focusing on drawing these abilities for the sake of sharing, you can ask for everything.
